More Than “Kasali”: Helping Children Truly Participate

by Angel Dy February 11, 2026

In clinic, I often meet children who are doing “well” in therapy.

They complete tasks.
They follow instructions.
They perform the skill they've been practicing.

But when parents describe real life—school programs, family gatherings, birthday parties—the story sometimes changes.

“He just watches.”
“She stays beside me.”
“They say she’s included… but she doesn’t really join.”

The child is present.
But not truly participating.

In my work with families in early childhood and developmental care, this is one of the most common tensions we see—when therapy progress doesn’t quite translate into everyday life.

Participation is not something children earn

We often think participation comes after therapy:
learn the skill → practice → eventually join real-life activities.

But development doesn’t actually work that way.

Children grow through participation, not before it.

Participation builds:

confidence
communication
relationships
identity
motivation

It is not a reward for progress.
It is the pathway where development happens.

Authentic participation is more than being “kasali”

A child can be in the room and still feel outside of it.

True participation often includes:

choice
belonging
meaningful roles
environments that make engagement possible

Not perfect behavior.
Not typical interaction.
Not independence first.

Just being part of something real.

Sometimes the barrier isn’t the child

When a child isn’t participating, our instinct is to ask:
“What skill is missing?”

But just as important is:
“What in the environment is making participation harder?”

Is the activity flexible?
Are adults calm and supportive?
Are peers given space to relate naturally?
Are expectations rigid or adaptable?

Often, small changes open the door:

allowing movement
adjusting sensory input
letting children join in their own way
creating roles instead of requiring performance

Participation is shaped by people, spaces, and attitudes—not just ability.

The language we use shapes what we expect

Words like:

“not ready”
“challenging behavior”
“high functioning” / “low functioning”

can quietly limit opportunities.

They influence:

who gets support
who gets included
who gets believed capable

When we become more specific and strengths-aware, we start building environments instead of holding children back.

What helps participation grow

For both parents and professionals, these shifts matter:

Start with what the child enjoys
Motivation drives participation more than skill.

Focus on “How can this work?” instead of “Can they do it?”
Adapt the environment before withholding the opportunity.

Allow different ways of joining
Observing, parallel play, sensory engagement, and nonverbal interaction all count.

Prioritize relationships
Peers, siblings, cousins, classmates—this is where belonging forms.

Support the family
Participation is shaped by time, stress, resources, and confidence—not just therapy plans.

The shift that changes everything

The question is no longer:

“Is this child ready to participate?”

It becomes:

“How do we create spaces where participation is possible now?”

Because children do not develop in isolation.
They develop in relationships, routines, communities, and everyday life.

And when a child feels they truly belong—
not just included, not just present, but part of something—

confidence grows,
connection deepens,
and development begins to unfold in ways no therapy session alone can create.

References

Rosenbaum, P., & Gorter, J. W. (2012). The ‘F-words’ in childhood disability: I swear this is how we should think! Child: Care, Health and Development, 38(4), 457–463.

World Health Organization. (2001). International Classification of Functioning, Disability and Health (ICF). Geneva: WHO.

Eriksson, L., & Granlund, M. (2004). Conceptions of participation in students with disabilities and persons in their close environment. Journal of Developmental and Physical Disabilities, 16(3), 229–245.